I get discouraged too sometimes.
No matter how hard I stare at Kale, it never turns into a doughnut.
Sometimes, when Shuan T. tells me to, “Keep going! You’re looking great!”, I want to yell back, “My legs are jello now! I don’t look great- I look like I’m melting! Stop smiling at me!”. Instead, I do the “cize bounce” until my legs fall off and I curl up into a sweaty ball on the floor while my husband tries to hand me water. In no way is it glamorous and it shouldn’t be.
Now that it’s been a few days of my new healthier lifestyle, and I’m not completely starving anymore, I can look at this situation a little more clearly. Here’s what I’ve learned:
If I look at exercise as “Therapy” instead of “Torture”(because that’s what it feels like- a little dramatic, I know) then it starts to become a time for me to focus not on the pain but on the bettering of myself. Instead of it being something I HAVE to do, it’s something that I am starting to like doing because I enjoy the feeling of persistence, consistency, and, of course, the feeling I get when the number on the scale goes down.
I won’t lie though, it’s still hard. When they say that it’s not about getting your body in shape, it’s about getting your mind in shape-well…they really aren’t lying.
And getting your mind into shape- ESSENTIALLY, changing you OWN mind- is one of the hardest things to do.
Here’s when it pays off:
The numbers go down. Not just the scale numbers, the measured inches off your body too! But that comes with a big price: You’ll want to binge on sour patch kids until the cows come home, but you have a fruit salad instead. And you know what? It was actually delicious…but it wasn’t sour patch kids and it never will be.
I try to look at things from a humorous perspective sometimes in order to keep myself going. If I’m being really honest, I’ve stopped and full on cried in the middle of a workout before because I was just too uncomfortable to deal with it anymore. And that’s ok. We’re not robots and sometimes our mind needs a break.
Here’s what I’ve learned about eating healthier food. I literally have to make my husband take the unhealthy food to his office instead of keeping it here.
Poptarts? No way.
Chef Boyardee? Not happening.
Little poop cakes that I made? Let them eat poop!
I have learned that I am basically an animal when it comes to snacking. That’s what really gets me…
Whole wheat toast and hard boiled eggs
Grilled veg and quinoa
…but really though…its a problem…
There’s a quote that says, “Don’t focus on losing weight, focus on being healthy”, which I think is a great message. However, can’t I focus on both? I think so. I don’t think it’s a crime to want to feel better in your body and want to be healthier in the meantime. People say not to look at the scale, but I think as long as you’re not stuck to it all the time, it can be a really motivating factor in weight loss!
Everything is moderation people. Everything in moderation.
Here’s what it boils down to:
Diet and exercise can suck sometimes, but they are also a way to make ourselves better and that is a beautiful thing. I can’t control the world around me but I can control what goes in my body and how I take care of it at the same time. I will never stop wanting cupcakes- i’ve just accepted this as fact. There will be no existence where I walk by a cupcake store and don’t want to eat them all. The good news is, I can have one cupcake- but one- that’s all. And a lot of the time, I really shouldn’t even be having the cupcake so I won’t. Portion control is also a beautiful thing because it teaches you how much you really need in order to feel your BEST! And doesn’t everyone just want to feel their best all the time? I know, for me, I am constantly searching for things that make me feel happy and grateful, and I already have a lot of that in my life. Going on this healthier lifestyle has made me realize that I don’t have to be perfect- with anything that I do. Because imperfection is such an awesome and unique kind of thing- it makes you who you are.
There will be times in your healthy journey where you want to throw in the towel…not just throw it in but dip it in chocolate sauce and eat it. There will be times when you take a day off from working out simply because your brain/mind needs a break from it all. There will be times you eat that slice of pizza but don’t have dessert because of it.
There will be times when you hate the process. There will be times you want to scream and won’t know why you’re doing this to yourself.
In those moments, remember why you started and remember that you’re stronger than you think you are. Have the cupcake if you must, but spend some extra time in the gym because of it. And don’t give yourself too much of a hard time because of it- you’re a human being and you’ll get a little better every day.
And when you’re your best self, you’ll look back on this moment, smile, and take a huge bite of something really delicious because you’re one wild and crazy guy or gal.